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Dear President Obama,
If I understand this correctly, you are asking me to work for the government (or for the country if not literally for the government itself) for free, i.e. without compensation, and that this is in response to the "greatest challenge in generations" that we currently face.
This great challenge that you speak of, the financial crisis and the toll that it's taken on our society, should somehow be overcome, or its deleterious impact lessened at least, by throngs of good hearted people going out and working for the government (or the country) for free, i.e. without compensation, in unison.
Now, while I appreciate the ideal of a cooperative society motivated by the desire to succeed and do good, and not motivated by greed, what I don't understand is why we're being asked to do this to help pay for the 700 billion dollars that you and your friends from Goldman Sachs gifted to excessively rich Wall Street billionaires whose greedy motivations now continue unabated even as they sip the wine of our collective sweat.
This is, basically, insulting.
It's insulting to insinuate that I am worth nothing while your Wall Street buddies are worth the entire national treasury and then some. It's insulting to think that simple minded criminals are walking around high on the hog, while I am being asked to pay for their gluttony, first with my share of our collective tax pool, and now by taking up a shovel and going out and digging a ditch for free.
So I just wanted to say this:
Fuck you.
Okay, now that I've gotten that off my chest, I'd like to offer up my own solution to this problem of needing people to go out and volunteer for the betterment of our civilization.
I propose that you, Mr. Geithner, Mr. Paulson, Mr. Bush, and every pompous Wall Street executive strangling our country to serve their self-absorbed materialism, as well as every insurance company executive currently feeding at the trough of human suffering, be rounded up and placed in a CHAIN GANG.
This CHAIN GANG can then be used to provide free services for people all over the country. There are enough Wall Street and Insurance Company executives around that we could build a very productive force of prisoners in our new Communist Labor experiment, and help our great society once again rise up to its potential and surmount this, the greatest challenge in generations, that our country currently faces.
Can I count on you, Mr. Obama, to set an example for the rest of the gang of thieves and corporate pirates, and go out and contribute your labor to this great new, magnanimous non-profit chain gang?
Yes you can, Mr. Obama. You can do it for your country. And so can Mr. Geithner, Mr. Paulson, and all of Wall Street and Big Insurance, in unison. Working together to make the future brighter, creating a shining example for the rest of the world's pompous wealthy trough-gorgers to follow. It'll make the world a much better place for everyone.
Kind Regards,
Gary M. Lintzenich |
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I don't believe that I ever gave my email address to Barack Obama, and I never registered it with his campaign website, or with his faux "involvement" website change.gov, or with whitehouse.gov.
I have never given my email address to the government or to any politician except for my local Republican dude here, who opposed the bailout, Dennis Kucinich's campaign and Ralph Nader's campaign.
I've given it to no other politician, or to any Party.
But I get his solitications anyway. Weekly, at least. And they are solicitations - this one, get this, is soliciting me to join his National Call for Service, i.e. work for the government for free to help pay for the fact that Obama gave all of our money to giant corporations run by insanely wealthy pigs...
which itself is a slap in the face. How about we round up all the wealthy CEOs and put them on a CHAIN GANG? There's your service organization right there, buddy.
But the most bothersome thing about them is less the subject matter (because it's no surprise that Obama is an elitist snob who really BELIEVES that I, who have no money, should WORK FOR THE GOVERNMENT FOR FREE to help pay for his gifting of the entire national treasury to wealthy elitists like himself) BUT that they are technically
UCE - Unsolicited Commercial Email, or "SPAM".
Which means that Mr. Obama can be fined and/or serve jail time for sending it to me. |
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From this article:
"Bucking the downturn in the housing market, RiversEdge, a luxury apartment building on the Weehawken waterfront opened yesterday, according to today's Star-Ledger. RiversEdge has 236 apartments, ranging from studios that rent for $1,822 a month to two bedrooms with dens that rent for $3,573 a month."
$1,822.00 a month for a studio apartment? Over $3,500.00 for a two bedroom?
If anyone actually decides to rent one of these places, then they deserve to lose all their friggin' money. What an incredible rip-off. I don't care where the real-estate is, or what the going rate is, or how "posh" the apartments are. It's a massive rip-off no matter how you look at it. It's disgraceful that there are people living on the streets, yet fat, arrogant developers are selling their dispicable elitist apartments to elitist rich people. We can't take care of our own poor and homeless people. There are millions of empty houses sitting in foreclosure, and "luxury" apartments in Jersey City that nobody is buying, just sitting there empty while people huddle by burning garbage cans in the fucking street. Because some rich banker owns them all. This whole scene absolutely disgusts me. If "developers" were actually coming up with compassionate ideas instead of get-rich schemes, maybe this country would be less of a noxious place. |
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The supermarket. Shaaaah! Brrr! Personally, I love empty parking garages and dank basements. They're beautiful, decrepit and/or lonely affairs, great for photographs, videos, poetic inspiration, or even just quiet contemplation.
The supermarket, on the other hand, is the gateway to Hell. Animals chopped to pieces and imprisoned in plastic coffins for the the empty-eyed zombies trundling down the aisles moaning for blood to consume. Products wrapped in natural resources ripped from the Earth. Packaging inside packaging inside packaging. An orgy of waste and anesthetized, corporate imprisonment. The thieving of food and resale of it to feed the capitalist system and keep us all enslaved and institutionalized. Ugh! (shiver, cower, blubber)
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Fuck you, Mr. DeSantis. Give the money back to the treasury, and go get a job not destroying the world, you smarmy slimeball. You EARNED your MILLION BUCKS? Go fuck yourself.
Best Regards,
Gary Lintzenich |
| » Made-off |
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It occurs to me that this whole global investment bullshit has been a gigantic ponzi scheme from the get-go. Well, actually I've suspected that all along, but it's now CLEAR, and I know it's true.
These firms knew good and well 20 years ago that they were creating money that doesn't exist, putting this illusion of value into peoples' 401k plans and retirement accounts, and taking those peoples' real money (in premiums, fees and plan contributions) and pocketing it, creating billions and billions in profit for themselves over years and years.
Real money goes in, fake illusions of value that don't really exist come out the other end.
They knew good and well that the whole thing would eventually collapse and wipe out all that fake value that never existed. This has been a big set-up, a collusion between these rich bankers and rich politicians to swindle everyone out of all their money and horde all the power for themselves.
And now that the lie is collapsing, instead of using hundreds of billions of taxpayer dollars to give the people their stolen money back, these disgusting politicians are giving it all to the rich assholes responsible for this enormous fleece job, raping everyone even further.
Bernie Madoff, at the very least, ran a more realistic operation than all of Wall Street. Why? Because he didn't hide his Ponzi scheme under mountains of fake stock market bullshit in order to disguise it as something other than what it really is. Yeah, he created some falsified statements, but what we're missing here is that ALL STATEMENTS ARE FALSIFIED if they're coming out of a Wall Street investment firm. Why? Because all of Wall Street is a damned farce, an illusory construct, a giant lie.
All of Wall Street is a gigantic Ponzi scheme, but they're not going down for it, because they've got Congress and the White House hoodwinked into believing that they are too big to fail, as if any of that 'value' ever had any 'value' in the first place.
Which is the biggest scam of them all. These firms are blackmailing the American people, threatening the collapse of society if we don't give them all our money. Threatening to turn us out into the streets if we don't cough up all our hard-earned cash so they can transfer it into their coffers. Threatening a massive collapse of a system that doesn't even really exist, and never did, if we don't hand over our life savings to the tyrannical oppressors.
Tyrannical oppressors that we helped create by reinforcing the illusion with an unwavering, simplistic optimism that Capitalism is anything but a way to funnel money and power out of our pockets and into those of the wealthy elite.
Mar. 12th, 2009 @ 01:01 pm
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| » Writer's Block: AKA |
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Well, for a long time I thought I was alone in my unquenchable thirst to set goats and sheep on fire, and give them blow-jobs while they burned to death. One day I was hunkered down under a burning sheep, and some friends discovered me there, which was a little embarrassing; however, it turns out they're a bunch of open-minded guys who belong to a society of really nice Satan Worshippers. So they took me to a secret temple hidden in a cave in the North Jersey woodland, and indoctrinated me by shoving cockroaches up my ass for 2 hours while I did naked push-ups on a rug made out of the flayed flesh of dead children. When it was over, they gave me this nifty nickname. Tweck is Satanist for "He Who Blows the Mighty Lucifer and Imbibes His Fiery Emissions."
Feb. 27th, 2009 @ 08:40 am
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| » Writer's Block: Taking It Personally |
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These tests are old hat. They haven't really been able to accurately determine my personality traits. I prefer the more accurate and realistic Cannibalize Children Alive in a Vat of Urine Test. Second only to the Eat Rancid Dog Feces and Puke Through a Hose into Your Ass Test, which generally has much more accurate results as well.
Feb. 26th, 2009 @ 09:09 am
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| » Writer's Block: Self-Indulgent |
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I'd have to say crapping on the floor and smearing my face in it. I really need to tone it down anyway, and I've done it so many times at this point it's getting boring. So I think a good 40 day reprieve would be nice. Also, sticking my penis in in my dog's mouth while he's sleeping. I know, everyone does it, yedda yedda. But really, it's not all that important, now, is it?
Feb. 25th, 2009 @ 01:09 pm
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| » Writer's Block: Dressed to Impress |
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I had the best outfit. I glued a bunch of silver-fleck faux fur to my penis and stretched it around my neck, so it hung there like a scarf. I was otherwise naked. The other attendees loved it. I got a lot of comments from people who were impressed that my penis is long enough to do such remarkable fashion things with. Eventually the buzz wore off, so I went to the bathroom and carved a drawing of the Cistene Chapel on my chest with a dull knife. After that, the whole place was talking about my rockin' outfit. Paparazzi came out of the woodwork, snapping away, in awe of my obvious sense of style and coolness.
Feb. 23rd, 2009 @ 11:54 am
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| » Writer's Block: Jackpot |
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I would build a big robot fish about 12 feet long, with a cockpit, and rocket engines on its fins. When completed, I would blast off, and fly the robot fish to the center of my dog's brain, where we would get married and have robot-fish/human babies, and learn to speak the way a dog thinks.
Feb. 19th, 2009 @ 09:12 am
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| » Writer's Block: Half a Glass |
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I consider myself a Satanist. Yep. Good 'ol Satan. Sometimes I dress up in plastic-wrap and roll in pigs intestines, chanting to Mephistopheles. Other times you can find me standing on the corner at the end of my block handing out Satanism leaflets. They have little pictures on them of happy families enjoying various Satanic practices, such as Church Burning and Cannibalism, and a plea for membership and donations. Sometimes I have Satan parties, and invite my friends. We drink each others' blood and have sex with animals. It's awesome!
Feb. 9th, 2009 @ 09:49 pm
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| » Writer's Block: Seven |
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I'm likely to commit the 8th Deadly Sin: Cannibalism. That's right, I eat people. See, I have this huge machine in my shed, out back, that makes people ice cream. I don't eat people fried rice, or people steak and potatoes, or any of those typical cannibal delicacies. In fact, outside of the people ice cream, my diet is otherwise completely normal. Salads, stews, potatoes, spaghetti, spinach, etc. etc. Pizza. You know, the regular stuff everyone else eats.
Anyway, the people ice cream maker is a fantastic device. You just put your victim on this little conveyor belt, and five minutes later they come out a spout on the other side as a pile of cold, tasty, people ice cream. It only makes soft-serve, but I'm developing a hard people ice cream machine currently. I've been making a pretty good living lately selling people cones at a little stand on the corner. It's quite popular. Eventually I'll expand, maybe franchise, etc. etc.
Anyway.
Feb. 5th, 2009 @ 08:15 am
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| » Writer's Block: Tricky Questions |
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The last time someone said that to me, I immediately crapped in my hand and ate it. The time before that, I put the vacuum hose on my nose and turned it on, sucking my eyeballs into my brain. Now every time I open my eyes, I can see my thoughts. Clear as day, racing hither-to... weeee!
Jan. 13th, 2009 @ 10:48 am
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| » Writer's Block: Prepared Answer |
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Why is there a penis growing out of the back of your head?
Jan. 6th, 2009 @ 07:25 pm
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| » Writer's Block: Earth Vacation |
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Don't go there. The natives have trashed the planet acting like a bunch of unruly, selfish children. They're ignorant, warlike, threatening, and are afraid of anything they don't understand. They are also generally stupid, and lack real compassion. It's a bad place, and will soon be uninhabitable in any case.
Jul. 13th, 2008 @ 11:10 am
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| » Writer's Block: Hope |
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Corporations. Big, rich corporations give me hope. For my future and the future of the world. Trash. Piles of trash are hopeful. Big, heaping mounds of garbage. And debt. Escalating indebtedness. And murder. Murdering children for profit. If it wasn't for the big corporations murdering children for profit, there would be no hope at all in this world.
Hope is easy to maintain as long as you believe in the power of trash, debt, infanticide and corporate hegemony!
Long live Shell Oil!
Jul. 7th, 2008 @ 08:49 am
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| » The Awning Chronicles |
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I just got back from my semi-daily trip to the coffee shop.
On the way there, it looked like it was about to rain. A sinister darkness crept over the morning sky, and low rumblings in the distance signaled the onset of something potentially awesome.
The coffee shop is six blocks away. I walked the six blocks in the cool, foreboding breeze, went into the shop, got my coffee and pastry, and stepped back out into a downpour.
I stood under the awning for a minute assessing the rain. It was extremely heavy, thick with water, crashing into the sidewalk. It was a torrential wall. The sound was deafening. People ran for safety.
I decided I would awning-hop down the block, and maybe find a dollar store that sold umbrellas. So I dashed to the next awning - the Chinese food place next door, and then to the next one, overhanging a nail salon. The next available cover was a bout 100 feet away at the pet store on the corner of the next block. I took a breath and ran, or better, swam, down the block, leaped over the standard river of rushing rainwater at the intersection, crossed the road and threw myself against the wall outside the pet store.
I was soaked. I'm still soaked. 15 seconds was all it took.
I went in and looked at the puppies. They wanted to jump on me, but couldn't, because of the wire cage between us. I examined the hamsters, songbirds, and a weird, exotic looking parrot who was partially bare of feathers, and looked possibly sick or diseased. Then I marveled at how, if I stood at one side of the fish tank and then moved to the other side, the fish would follow me. I, the master of tiny, hairless water-dogs.
After awhile, the storm outside appeared to get lighter, so I made another dash toward home. When I stepped back into the elements, the rain immediately picked up again, and I was forced back to the safety of another awning, this time above a store that sold purses and makeup and trinkets.
I stood there for 20 minutes while this immensity in the sky dumped its wrath on Jersey City. Water bounced from the ground onto my pant legs. I didn't mind, because my pants were already soaked.
Across the street, an Indian fellow stood under an awning above a garage. He was an old gentleman, dressed in some traditional outfit - the all-white, flowing robes you sometimes see Indian men wearing. He stood there patiently, waiting for the Wrath of Heaven to subside. I smiled at him. I sipped my coffee, and thought about how great it was that the Indian fellow and I were so different; me in my bright orange, button-down shirt and blue jeans with my hair sticking out all over the place, white and nerdy like Weird Al. And the Indian gentleman, traditionally dressed, white hair, deeply tanned. We speak two different languages. He probably knows mine, but I don't know a word of his. We think differently, believe different things, come from different cultures, and have our own unique traits and personality quirks outside of all that.
Worlds away, we spent a moment under our respective awnings with a very faint, yet powerful connection of shared experience between us. Together we bore witness to The Fucking Greatness of the Universe, and were humbled as one.
Jun. 29th, 2008 @ 02:40 pm
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| » Amen! |
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2008 Presidential Candidate Ralph Nader discusses a remark made to him by a fellow alumnus at a recent Princeton reunion.
****
I was at my Princeton reunion the other day, and a young alumnus came up to me - he was very kind - and he said "You know, I really like what you're doing - I like what you did - but please don't run."
I said "Do you realize what you are saying?"
And he said "Yes, I said please don't run."
I said "You're telling me not to use my First Amendment rights of speech, assembly, and petition inside the electoral arena. You're telling me to shut up. Are you aware of what you're saying?"
He said "I understand, I understand, I like what you're doing, but please don't run."
So I went through and I said "Well, would you tell those voters instead of trying to determine which one was worse between the Democrats and the Whigs, the two major parties in the 19th century, and instead cut out and voted for the Liberty Party, which was the anti-slavery party - would you say to those candidates, 'Don't run'?"
And he sort of paused.
And I said "How about the people who refused to go least-worst between the Republicans and Democrats on women's suffrage? Would you tell those candidates 'don't run'? What do you say to that?"
And he paused.
And I took it up to date and I said "Would you tell Buchanan not to run?"
And he said "I understand what you are saying, but please don't run."
And I said "You know, unwittingly, you are engaging in a politically bigoted statement. Because you can oppose, and you can support, any candidates you want. But when you are saying to someone 'don't run' you are saying to someone 'do not speak, do not petition, do not assemble inside the electoral arena.'"
Now I'm saying this because I'm sure you've had these conversations with people. Look at the word spoiler. Spoiler is a contemptuous word of political bigotry. They do not accuse George W. Bush of being the spoiler in 2000, and last I heard he got more votes than I did, vis-a-vis Al Gore. It's only the independent and third parties that are called spoilers.
And think of the hubris here - these two parties have spoiled our elections, they've spoiled our government, they've spoiled our politics - and to have the temerity to say to someone who wants to reform the process that they are spoilers - they have no sense of humor - I mean, how do you satire satire?
- Ralph Nader, New York City, May 31, 2008
Jun. 13th, 2008 @ 12:26 pm
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| » Writer's Block: Gaming From Young to Old |
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1. Dungeons and Dragons
2. Take a crap on the floor and hand-feed it to my dog, then run around the house naked singing "Oh Christmas Tree", while snorting Windex. Great game!
Jun. 12th, 2008 @ 04:15 pm
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tweck's journal